The old farts are moving south. The Boston Beaneaters, who've been known to stink up the joint on more than one occasion, packed up the Robert Irsay Moving Company trucks in the dead of night on Christmas Eve and moved the team to Tampa, Florida. There, a new stadium awaits them. Final dimensions are to be announced, but it's rumored the Old Towne Team's new digs will look a lot like Fenway Park. This much is known: the ballpark will be located on Dale Mabry Highway, directly across the thoroughfare from Steinbrenner Field, and in full view of the Red Sox's (errrr, Beaneaters') four World Series championship flags since 2004. Henceforth, the club will be known as the Dale Mabry Marvels (DLM on your Wall Street ticker). Marvels? Well, it's got that alliterative thing going for it, but in full disclosure, the Marvels were first spotted bouncing around at one of the many strip clubs on Dale Mabry, circa 1980, where a Coke would cost you $8 and you couldn't buy a beer. Can't make this stuff up. When the new park opens, Cokes will cost $15, adjusted for inflation, but free beers will be poured all night into red Solo souvenir cups that will cost only $20. So, pack up the kiddies -- we have dollar dogs waiting -- and come on down for some day baseball in sunny Florida, where the game-time humidity is always 99 percent.
