The time has come to announce the results from one of the most exciting offseason events: the draft lottery!  The five teams that lost the most games in the 2017 season were eligible to participate. As a reminder, Ill list them again below, along with their lottery odds.

1.       Kansas City (34-128): 5 in 15 33%

2.       Capreol (46-116): 4 in 15 27%

3.       Rome (51-111): 3 in 15 20%

4.       Terre Haute (54-108): 2 in 15 13%

5.       Hollywoo, formerly Twin Peaks (58-104): 1 in 15 - 7%

Adding to the drama this year, the draft lottery ceremony was attended by some of the players who contributed most to their teams achieving such lofty loss totals.

·       Kansas City was represented by:

o   JR Murphy (.381 OPS in 502 PA, 134 SB allowed)

o   Aaron Blair (2-22, 6.67 ERA, 40 HR allowed)

o   Jesse Hahn (5-23, 7.59 ERA, 258 H, 41 HR)

o   Alex Morgan (4-29, 5.59 ERA, 44 HR not such a terrible ERA, but 29 losses!)

·       Capreol was represented by:

o   Jeff Weaver (4-21, 6.61 ERA)

o   Cody Anderson (7-19, 7.49 ERA, 311 H in 177 IP!)

o   Hank Conger (.599 OPS in 380 PA, 109 SB allowed)

·       Rome was represented by:

o   Shane Tolleson (4-5, 9.70 ERA!, 113 H in 60 IP, 12 SV)

o   Zach Godley (1-22, 6.44 ERA)

o   Brad Miller (.198 BA and .661 OPS in 617 PA, 156 K, 24/72 X-Fielding with 27 E)

·       Terre Haute was represented by:

o   Alex Gordon (.562 OPS in 519 PA)

o   Mike Bolsinger (6-15, 6.97 ERA, 43 HR)

o   Jeanmar Gomez (1-2, 8.28 ERA, 85 H+BB and 14 HR in only 46 IP)

·       Hollywoo (Twin Peaks) was represented by:

o   Mike Pelfrey (6-15, 6.98 ERA)

o   Wade Miley (7-13, 6.75 ERA)

o   Yonder Alonso (.634 OPS in 540 PA, 26-67 X-Fielding with 28 E)

As in prior years, the top 5 picks are determined through a rigorous scientific process:

   1) A sheet of paper is painstakingly separated into 15 approximately equal pieces.

   2) Team abbreviations are written on each of the pieces of paper, corresponding to each teams lottery odds (i.e., 5 times for KC, 4 times for CAP, etc.).

   3) Each piece of paper is rigorously folded twice to ensure that team abbreviations are not visible.

   4) The pieces of paper are placed in the designated draft lottery selection mechanism, which this year is a Houston Astros cap that I received at the Juice Box a couple years ago.

   5) The pieces of paper are shuffled within the cap by vigorously shaking it, yet also ensuring that all pieces remain safely inside.

   6) With randomness thus ensured, the draft lottery administrator (i.e., me) selects a piece of paper from the cap and unfolds it to reveal the big winner!

7.   Step 6 is repeated to reveal which teams receive the 2^nd pick, 3^rd pick, and 4^th pick of the draft. Any duplicate team selections are discarded and obviously the remaining team must bitterly settle for the 5^th pick.

      Okay, if anyone is still readingor simply skipped all the nonsense above, lets get to the draft order already! In order to maximize the drama, the order will be announced starting with the worst pick.

The 5^th pick in the 2018 ARBA draft goes toKansas City!

The 4^th pick in the 2018 ARBA draft goes toCapreol!

The 3^rd pick in the 2018 ARBA draft goes toRome!

The 2^nd pick in the 2018 ARBA draft goes toTerre Haute!

The 1^st pick in the 2018 ARBA draft goes toHollywoo!

Wow, that order is exactly the opposite of what it should be based on the odds. It is frightening to learn that math and probability clearly have no meaning anymore! Josh is the big winner, capturing some Hollywoo magic with his franchise move. I am relieved that the top pick didnt go to that damn Tomlinson again, although 2^nd is still way too good for him. Condolences go to KC and CAP, who fail to reap the full rewards from their many losses.

Okay, that concludes todays draft lottery announcement. Commence with the celebration or despair, as appropriate.