Hello everyone. Shiner has been shopping me around the league pretty much ever since I joined the team and it's really bringing me down. I'd really love to join a team that would appreciate me more. I can offer up to 17 starts and 108 innings of maximum effort. It might not always be pretty, but nobody will try harder!
Shiner apparently isn't even all that picky about what they would get in return, which is a real ego boost. They just want someone they like as much or more, which doesn't seem to be a very high bar. It could be a pitcher or a batter. Money could go either way to even out the deal, as needed. They might even settle for just selling me outright for cash, perhaps with a waiver pick included.
Please, can you find it in your heart to rescue me from this hostile work environment before it's too late?!?!?!
While we all feel bad for your predicament and understand and sympathize with your need to escape the presence of undesirables such as the SHI management team, the unfortunately reality is that you suck. It is therefore unlikely that any of us will be able to accomodate you at this, or indeed any, time.
Earlier today, Rome reiterated its offer of a 12th round pick (this time in the waiver draft), and a half eaten ham sandwich, but was rebuked in its efforts to obtain your services. Upon the end of those discussion, Rome's owner finished the sandwich, closing the door on negotiations and instead turning his eye to the waiver draft.
