Brooklyn, looking to capture some of that Gecko Lizard Playoff Magic, has acquired Captain Intangibles himself, Lil' Nicky Punto. Lil' Nicky will be bringing a sack full of $13,000 worth of quarters with him in exchange for teenage pitching lottery ticket Luiz Gohara.
As Lil' Nicky Punto's agent, I need to supplement this kind, but inadequate note on my client's illustrious history. BRK can start printing their playoff tickets now.
2013 - Won ARBA championship with SFE
2012 - Won ARBA championship with SHI
2011 - Stuck in the hellhole of Springfield with a team that even he couldn't save
2010 - Led ELY to the World Series, but they came up just short, losing 4-2
2009 - Led ELY to 107 wins, but his power for good was overpowered by the last year of the Keith Era
2008 - Suffered through another long season with 39-123 MAN, vowing to escape somehow and win!
2007 - Suffered through a long season with 30-132 MAN, wondering what he had done to deserve this sad fate
2006 - Suffered through a 27-135 season with MAN, learning painful lessons about how much he hates losing
2005 - His irrepressible spunkiness helped spark Laramie to an awesome 126-36 season, but they somehow missed the World Series
2004 - Was somehow passed over by every ARBA team, who failed to see the magic in this young infielder
